what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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