Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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