Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
