I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
