So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think people are normalizing furries
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
