i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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