There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
