Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
