have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
