So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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