was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
