brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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