how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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