so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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