i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
