The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE