what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
