Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children