So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
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at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
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Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist