And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think this conversation is over.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
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just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
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I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night