But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
