I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
