her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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