This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Randomize
