Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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