like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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