I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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