If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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