Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
