fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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