Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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