I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My vagina just recognized that song.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
