i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize