Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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