I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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