after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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