ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize