Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
