it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
