this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
