I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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