I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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