I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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