there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
