half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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