I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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