Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
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sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
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You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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