note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's never too late to be topless.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
