First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
