You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
