He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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