how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
