hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
