I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
