It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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