the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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