I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
