My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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