Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
