You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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