I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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