i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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