Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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