Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
